no one has ever think that i will love cat. so do I. i'm a ailurophobian. dont know what it means? go google it. but when Jacob arrived at our house on 27th February 2010, my phobia to cat is gone to nowhere. he taught me a lot of things. our memories will not be forgotten.
still remember the moment where i had a big fight with my mum and the whole family didnt talk to me to teach me a lesson. he's the only one who still wanna play with me. i took him to my room and told him everything. at first i thought he wouldnt understand but i was wrong. jacob was a very naughty cat. he loves to jump here and there like an insane people. but the moment i cried and hug him, he acted very nice. he didnt jump at all but he lied next to me in a very manja way.
people would say, its just a cat. why should i cry too much? but he's not an ordinary cat. he's so special and i just couldnt describe how special he is.
he died in front of my car. he had been bumped by a black proton wira. you shit, is not a human. why didnt you stop to help him? you dont know how important my cat is to my life. you totally have no idea. you just dont belong to this earth. we dont need people like you in this earth. when that car bumped into him, he was still alive as he walked to a house opposite mine. i quickly ran into our house to let everyone know what had happened to him but when i reach at that house, he's gone. i couldnt help my self to not to screamed out loud. few of my neighbours went out to see what was going on. i cried to wake him up. i said, "jacob, bangun la jacob. kenapa jacob buat mummy macam ni, jacob, bangun lah bangun lah bangun lah jacob. mummy nak gerak perlis dah." i couldnt remember how many times did i ask him to wake up but he didnt listen to me. i thought there was still a chance so i carried him but once i carried him, his blood was all over the place. at that moment, i knew there's nothing i can do. i screamed again and hugged my mum's lower leg. God's finger touched him, and he slept.
i wanted to write more about him but it hurts way too much. its like loosing one of my family member. well, this is the first time in my entire life to face the death. i didnt go to class today cus my both eyes are swollen and im not in the mood to do things. i've not eaten since i woke up. i'm totally lost. ayah chick offered us a new born cat. it is black in color but i havent made any decision cus after what had happened, it is fearful thing to love what death can touch.
my dearest baby jacob,
mummy just want you to know that no cats can ever replaced you. you're so special and mummy loves you very much. no word can define my love to you sayang. thanks for always be with me through my thick and thin. mummy is so sorry cus i didnt manage to save you yesterday. mummy knows this is all my fault. mummy is so sorry sayang. i hope you can read this sayang. mummy doesnt want new cat. mummy wants you je. you're too special. mummy wanna die jugak. mummy cant live without you. mummy didnt go to class today. mummy is hurt. mummy can accept the fact that you has left me. mummy misses you veryyyy much jacob. can you please come in my dream. sekali pun takpe jacob. jacob cakap lah yg jacob pun sayang mummy. thats the only thing mummy wanna hear. things which will not be happenen in real life. please jacob. please come to my dream so that i'll be stronger. mummy dah tak tahu nak buat apa lagi. mummy dah penat nagis sayang. mummy nak jacob hidup lagi. kenapa jacob tinggalkan mummy cepat sangat? :'(
thousand thanks to my cousin-kak dik or helping my brother to buried him yesterday. mummy will go to your grave as soon when im home sayang. thanks for all the great memories jacob. you'll always be remembered. there's a lesson i just learnt from this incident, Allah boleh tarik nyawa kita bila-bila masa je. i'll try to be better girl.
may you rest in peace Jacob Black. iloveyouverymuch.
i cried when im writing this post eventhough i've promised my self to be strong
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