sad

this is the first time in my entire life facing this problem. what is it? the problem is i dont know what course should i apply for my bachelor. and i hate to say that I'm facing this problem because my result isn't good enough for me to do bachelor in accountancy. i feel like crying but still, crying won't change anything.

I know that i still cant do bachelor in accountancy at private college as abah and ibu have promised me. but at this moment, i dont care about those private college because everyone in matriculation is busy applying for UPU. i just feel that i'm not good enough like my room mates - Saliha and Najwa. they are so clever and really hard working. they study seriously and they got 4.00 and 3.91 for their result. with the good result like that, they can simply apply any courses and they dont have to be afraid not getting the course that they want. its not happening to me.

i'm in doubt. what course should i apply? what university should i go? will i get the course that i want? or i would end up getting the lelong course? i really wanna talk about this to someone but i just dont know who. i've talked to faris about my problem. he's a good listener, he gave me advices on this and that but his opinions and advices arent just enough. furthermore, we discussed about this through phone. i think, if i could talk about this in person with someone, it would be better. but, i just dont know who. sigh

abah would be very disappointed with me if i end up not taking account. i know he'll send me to private to do account but i just feel that he's not supposed to spend his money on me as i'm not a good daughter. i feel bad. i feel bad. why didnt you study real hard like what you've promised to your parents the day you come here Thoyy? kan dah susah.