I adore you, why cant I be like you?

You see, I actually facing lots and lots of problems. Those problems actually came from me. I'm the one who's giving my self so much troubles. Why do I love to compare my self with others? Why do I keep telling my self that I should be better than the girl who's currently reading this entry, I should be thinner that girl, I should be this, that. Endless comparison. (Truth to be told, comparing yourself to others does bring benefits to one self because you'll try to be better. However, you've to bear in mind that, too much of everything brings you no good.) I never know how to be grateful for what Allah has given me. I am perfectly me. When will I ever realize that?

I keep being inferior to others. Keep losing my self esteem. 

But one day, I spent time thinking about the few compliments that I got from people.

• In UiTM Seri Iskandar, there's FSSR. FSSR stands for Fakulti Seni Lukis & Seni Reka. So, we have photography and fashion courses here :D I'm not a model, but I do love helping my friends doing photoshoots for their assignments, helping them with their assessments, do the catwalk for the final year students. (This explains why I have those pics in my insta & twitter. So stop calling me model, cus I'm not. Just helping my friends though. Haha) Okay, back to my point. Normally before the photoshoot or runway event start, they need to put the make up on my face. I get this compliment, most of the time. Seriously. "Thoyy, kulit you lawa sangat. Licin, flawless, takde cela" and my reply would be, "err, biasa je la. Hehe" (I've never said thanks for the compliments as I didnt think its a compliment. Tak reti bersyukur kan.....")
• While having fitting session before people who's in charge with wardrobe decide which dress should I wear, "You pinggang size berapa?" "25" "Kurusnya, kecil sangat pinggang. So jealous" "Kurus? Err, biasa je. Tapi I tak tinggi. Tak best lah." (I've never said thanks for the compliments as I didnt think its a compliment. Tak reti bersyukur kan.....")
• My long lost friend met me and went, "Serious doh dah kurus. Kau buat apa doh boleh kurus?" "Kurus? Tapi pipi aku ni cam tak boleh kecik oh sebab cheek bone ni tinggi. Serious tak suka. Haih, camne eh nak kecilkan pipi?" (I've never said thanks for the compliments as I didnt think its a compliment. Tak reti bersyukur kan.....")
• Went to the gym, my trainer did the body evaluation for my self, 
• Him: body fat - 23%, visceral fat - 1, berat 46kg, tinggi 160, umur badan kau 17, kalori intake today okay bagus cukup, kalsium dalam badan cukup, blah blah. okay lah ni kau punya badan
• Me: eh? bagus eh? (I've never said thanks for the compliments as I didnt think its a compliment. Tak reti bersyukur kan.....")
• Him: *explained to my friends and me* thoyy ni kalau dia maintain, dia susah nak kena penyakit jantung, penyakit2 serious sebab kau tengok visceral fat dia 1 je. Korang try la ikut apa dia makan kalau korang nak kurus.
• Friend: Aku tak pernah nampak dia makan masalahnya.
• Him: Dia makan, and tapi dia jaga, pilih apa dia patut makan. 

Then I asked my self, orang lain suka kita, puji kita. Tapi kenapa kita tak nak rasa diri kita ni berharga? Allah has created each one of us perfectly. Maybe you dont have flawless skin, but Allah gave you a smart brain. You can't speak English well, but you can read the Holy Quran fluently. You might not have perfect teeth, but you have a perfect family. Allah is indeed, fair. 

Trust me, the girl that you admire, adore so much, also have flaws. Who knows, the girl that you dying to be, is dying to be you? Be grateful, chin up and be confident with yourself cus every girl in this world is beautiful :) Compare yourself with others so you could correct yourself, be a better you. Not better than others. 

p/s: InsyaAllah, I can guarantee. While writing those compliments that I got, it's not my intention to brag, to be riak or what. Its one of the ways to open your eyes. If you feel down, think about the compliments that you've got. Then say, "people appreciate me, why cant I? Easy peasy.