Being 23

I remember a year ago, I celebrated my 22nd birthday at Skybar and just 3 days ago, I've turned a year older. And I can't celebrate my birthday there anymore, I think. Cus I'm with tudung now. Time sure flies. :D  

So how does it feel to be 23, a year older. A year wiser? Yes or no? I have no answer to that. Cus dude, how do you actually measure your wiserness (if this is even a word)? Really? 

How do people define 23 year old individual successful? Drives big car (bayar sendiri)? Own a luxury condominium (bayar sendiri)? Own a designer handbag (beli sendiri)? Travel the world like it no one's business (duit sendiri)? How would you define successful? I my self working to be a better me. But it seems vague. Prolly cus my definition of successful is different from others. I might think owning a luxury handbag with my own money and a house is one of the steps towards my success while some others might think the other way around. Or maybe some people would say, as long as you're no longer getting money from your parents, you're on your way there. So I'm not on my way to become successful lah cus my mom still gives me a couple of hundred bucks every month. You get what I mean? Why did I say it's vague? I hope you do. 

Which is why I don't plan to compete with other people on who's more successful. Everyone faces their own challenges and struggles, and I believe as long you keep walking and be a better you, then you're half way there, love. The world isn't all about race. If you keep racing, especially with those who don't even bother about the race, you'll get tired and be demotivated. Cus it's gonna be an endless race. Hmm but I prefer idolizing people and try to be like them (bukan copycat ya sila baca dengan minda yang terbuka) but dude, I'm sometimes only good with words like who am I kidding? I always look at people and be like, I can be better than him/her but why am I stuck being biasa-biasa -_-"

If there's one thing about life that I'm quite upset with is that it didn't come with manuals so I can check if I'm actually on the right track. Haha. It's like you're so confident with the choice you've made and while you're in it, there comes all the difficulties and you'll be like, "I should've not done this at the first place" "my life would be so much different if I didn't make this choice" yknow, things like that.... And all you can do is keep doing whatever things you think is right, make mistakes and learn from it. 

To be honest, I always think that my life is so damn hard. Hahaha, I wish I was still in university and enjoying my life cus life was simpler back then. But isn't it selfish to not wanting to grow up and stuck at only one stage of your life? Most importantly, it's not possible so I should stop torturing my self wanting to go back to 2012. Haha. Truth is I should just keep going cus there are people out there who  have to beg for RM1 to get a packet of rice, who sleep on the road counting the stars to fall asleep. So ask yourself, what kind of struggles are you facing, Thoyy?